Telling the truth is an important part of discovering who you are. The truth will set as free as everyone knows this but a phrase that is hard to live by. I can still remember my younger years when I always believe that I am hiding under a Happy mask. There were times when I felt so lonely and weak but I don't want the people to see my vulnerability. It even came to a point when I don't want people seeing me crying. I don't want them to see me cry because I feel so weak. In my mind, they accepted me because I have this strong personality and showing them my vulnerability will dislike me. This is the same feeling that I felt when I failed my Electronics in College and when I failed my relationship. I diverted all my attention to projecting my composure and hiding again under the happy mask. I am happy and found a family with my team. I was given a chance to work outside of the country and I was indeed blessed in meeting all of them and having that experience. It was earlier this year that I am facing feelings of loneliness and laziness. Not the usual adventurous and eager me that I know. I study the factors, trying to identify the dillema. It was the peak of stress and I cannot handle it anymore. I then accept to myself that I am not happy. After that acceptance, the people around me notice the change in aura from a stressed weekend to a more free weekdays.
I started to let go of my look good image and is learning to be true to myself. I commit that truthfulness will always be of me and will not compromise my happiness to other people's expectation. This is my life and I will live it to the best way that I know...I commit to truth and will live by the truth.
I am now commiting myself to bring change in my life in 30 days. I will be following the book of Rhonda Britten. Will keep you posted of how i will bring the change that I need in my llife....
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing this Mafe. I feel the same way too. Its hard to be perceived as a person who is vibrant and handles everything well all the time. I am in the same journey as yours and I am happy knowing that I am not alone in this path. Hope we could be free and true ourselves more and more each day. :) Lets take one step at a time. :)
I appreciate you for sharing this.
All the best to you.
For Ian and I, no need for happy masks we love you just the way you are :)
thanks Jess. Yeah lets take our own baby steps to be true and live life freely. I am a message away if you need someone...see you soon!
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